Sunday at 1 League Newsletter – Week 11

Week 11 came in swinging like a caffeinated kangaroo. Some teams soared, some teams face-planted, and one man named Josh Allen committed statistical war crimes. With playoffs around the corner, contenders are sharpening their swords while the basement teams are… well… sharpening crayons. Let’s dive into the chaos.

WEEK 11 GAME RECAPS

Hunka Hunka Bernie Love (141.04) def. Buffalo Soldier (96.82)
Coach Dave tried his best, but Lamar played like he was blindfolded and throwing left-handed. Meanwhile Gibbs, Pickens, and JSN were a three-man wrecking crew. Coach Brian strolls to 7–4 while Buffalo Soldier officially enters “mathematically eliminated and spiritually destroyed” territory.

Coach Brian: “We're heating up. Elvis has re-entered the building.”

Red Zone Assassins (143.80) def. The Year (109.34)
RZA drops 143 with a Purdy party, McMillan rampage, and Christian Watson pretending it’s 2021. Meanwhile, Coach Neil got a 35-burger from CMC and STILL lost because Herbert decided to cosplay as Zach Wilson with a sprained ankle.

Coach John: “Win ugly? No. Win beautifully with Brock Bower's abs.”

Romulan Warbirds (98.10) def. Jobu Needs a Refill (78.10)
In a stunning reversal, Jobu himself went dry. Coach Dennis leaned on Bijan and Deebo while Coach Rich fielded the saddest WR room since the 2021 Detroit Lions. Even AJ Brown couldn’t save him. Jobu falls to 6–5 and is now demanding new rum.

Coach Dennis: “Bijan is life.”

Cranjis McBasketball (156.46) def. CRUSHERS (121.80)
Coach Jackson delivered a 156 bomb and Gainwell turned into prime Marshall Faulk. Kittle went nuclear. Coach Chuck put up a respectable 121 but ran directly into a wood chipper. Cranjis moves above .500 and reminds us all he’s still dangerous.

Coach Jackson: “Greatness is temporary. So is my sanity.”

Fighting Jive Turkeys (130.54) def. Droppin’ Deuces (101.94)
Achane is once again Him. McBride is basically Kelce with better hair. Coach Connor pushes to 7–4 while Coach Brad’s team performed like they were actively trying to get benched. Tez Johnson and Pearsall combined for 2.6 points, confirming sabotage.

Coach Connor: “Win secured. Turkeys cooked. Stuffing optional.”

Steel Curtain (162.78) def. The Shottenheimers (103.52)
THE GAME OF THE WEEK. THE PERFORMANCE OF THE SEASON.
Josh Allen dropped 61.68 points — the kind of score that gets you drug tested. Three passing TDs. Three rushing TDs. More fantasy output than some TE groups combined for the last month. Coach Jeff rises to 7–4 while Coach Chris gets pancaked.

Coach Jeff: “Josh Allen is my entire personality.”

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WEEK 11 AWARDS

Weekly Crown — Steel Curtain (162.78)
Josh Allen dragged the Curtain across the finish line like a wounded soldier carrying his captain.

Stud of the Week — Josh Allen (61.68 pts)
Absurd. Illegal. Beautiful.

Dumpster Fire of the Week — Jobu Needs a Refill (78.10)
The rum is gone. The magic is gone. The WRs are gone. Everything is gone.

Lineup Blunder — Quentin Johnston (0.00, Jobu)
Leaving him in your lineup should come with jail time.

Upset of the Week — Romulan Warbirds over Jobu
Coach Dennis rises from the ashes. Jobu sinks like a stone.

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Power Rankings – Week 11 Edition

1. Steel Curtain (7–4) — Powered by Allen’s divine wrath.

2. Fighting Jive Turkeys (7–4) — Achane + Etienne = violence.

3. Hunka Hunka Bernie Love (7–4) — Elvis shaking hips AND standings.

4. Cranjis McBasketball (6–5) — Peaking at the weirdest time.

5. Jobu Needs a Refill (6–5) — Needs divine intervention.

6. CRUSHERS (6–5) — From surge to sputter.

7. Red Zone Assassins (5–6) — Never dead, always chaotic.

8. Romulan Warbirds (5–6) — Bijan is carrying this entire franchise.

9. Droppin’ Deuces (5–6) — Aroma worsening.

10. The Shottenheimers (5–6) — Plummeting like a crypto coin.

11. The Year (4–7) — Rated “T” for Tragic.

12. Buffalo Soldier (3–8) — Season officially on hospice care.

Closing Thought ð'­
Week 11 reminded us: one quarterback can win you a game, save your season, and destroy your enemies. His name is Josh Allen. Honor him. Fear him. Start him forever.