TBL2 Week 5 Preview: Midseason Mayhem and the Clash for Control!

The 2025 TBL2 season is officially at the halfway point — and the tension is as thick as ever. The reigning Blitz Bowl champion Rockin’ Squatches are trying to defend their crown against a new wave of challengers. The outliers have become storylines. The juggernauts like Double Sluggo and Nea Kameni have opened strong and look untouchable, while a logjam of four-win teams thrash in the middle like piranhas in a barrel. Dark horses such as Ozarks and The Architect are clawing into the contender tier. Others like Guinness and The Grave Diggers are staring at the wrong end of the standings, which are as chaotic as ever. For some, Week 5 isn’t about style points — it’s about survival. Every bonus, every tackle assist, every tenth of a point is shaping what could become one of the most balanced playoff races in TBL2 history.

Week 5 arrives with separation on the line. Several teams split a Week 4 doubleheader—momentum’s real, but so is regression. Every yard, every tackle, every bonus point matters.

Ass Pennies (5–2) vs JoeStradamus (3–4)

Storyline:
The Pennies might be the quietest 5–2 team in league history — but don’t mistake silence for softness. They’ve averaged 158.9 points over the last three weeks while ranking top-three in efficiency. JoeStradamus, meanwhile, remains the enigma of the UFC: flashes of brilliance one week, frustration the next. Joe’s defense leads the league in forced fumbles (11), but his offense sits 12th in scoring. This game could tilt the balance in either direction.

Edge Watch (Starters)
QB: Josh Allen (AP) vs Matthew Stafford (JOE) → Edge: Pennies
RBs: Breece Hall, Woody Marks, Jordan Mason (AP) vs Alvin Kamara, Quinshon Judkins, TreVeyon Henderson (JOE) → Edge: Pennies
WRs: Tetairoa McMillan, Xavier Worthy (AP) vs Mike Evans, Nico Collins (JOE) → Edge: Push
TE: Trey McBride (AP) vs Hunter Henry (JOE) → Edge: Pennies
DL: Abdul Carter, Quinnen Williams, Byron Young (AP) vs Bryce Huff (JOE) → Edge: Pennies
LBs: Jack Campbell, Akeem Davis-Gaither (AP) vs Zack Baun, Robert Spillane, Eric Wilson (JOE) → Edge: JoeStradamus
DBs: Daxton Hill (AP) vs Brian Branch, Tykee Smith (JOE) → Edge: JoeStradamus

The Bottom Line:
Allen’s dual-threat scoring and Hall’s all-purpose work keep the Pennies’ offense rolling, but Joe’s linebacker unit will keep it close. In the end, depth wins.
Prediction: Ass Pennies 163.4 – 156.8 JoeStradamus

Big Possum Walks Late (3–4) vs Rockin’ Squatches (4–3)

Storyline:
The defending champs have looked human this year. At 4–3, the Rockin’ Squatches sit just a game above .500, but their defense — especially Zaire Franklin and Nick Bosa — continues to produce elite IDP numbers. Big Possum Walks Late, on the other hand, can’t quite find balance. They’ve scored 140+ in four of seven games but have yet to beat a top-half opponent. This one will test if the Possums are for real — or just stat padders.

Edge Watch (Starters)
QB: Tua Tagovailoa (BPWL) vs C.J. Stroud (RS) → Edge: Squatches
RBs: Braelon Allen, Travis Etienne, Keaton Mitchell (BPWL) vs Jahmyr Gibbs, Jonathan Taylor (RS) → Edge: Squatches
WRs: Marquise Brown, Courtland Sutton (BPWL) vs Jordan Addison, George Pickens, Jameson Williams (RS) → Edge: Squatches
TE: Chig Okonkwo (BPWL) vs Dalton Kincaid (RS) → Edge: Squatches
DL: Brian Burns, Leonard Williams (BPWL) vs Nick Bosa, Jeffery Simmons (RS) → Edge: Push
LBs: Drue Tranquill, Devin White (BPWL) vs Zaire Franklin, Cody Barton (RS) → Edge: Squatches
DBs: Chauncey Gardner-Johnson, Tariq Woolen (BPWL) vs Minkah Fitzpatrick, Jessie Bates III (RS) → Edge: Squatches

The Bottom Line:
The champs remember how to win ugly. Stroud stays efficient, Franklin dominates the middle, and the Squatches claw back to form.
Prediction: Rockin’ Squatches 170.6 – 146.3 Big Possum Walks Late

Fanny Dusters (3–4) vs The Process (1–6)

Storyline:
The Dusters are the ultimate wild card — second in total yardage, but ninth in points scored. Translation: lots of yards, few finishes. The Process has been all finishes, no consistency. Justin Fields has accounted for 62% of their points, but the lack of defensive support has been costly. Both teams need a spark; whoever finds it here may salvage their season.

Edge Watch (Starters)
QB: Jaxson Dart (FD) vs Justin Fields (TP) → Edge: Process
RBs: Nick Chubb (FD) vs Bhayshul Tuten (TP) → Edge: Dusters
WRs: Isaiah Bond, Jayden Higgins, Quentin Johnston (FD) vs Emeka Egbuka, Zay Flowers, Cooper Kupp, Chris Olave (TP) → Edge: Process
TE: Dalton Schultz, Harold Fannin Jr. (FD) vs Juwan Johnson (TP) → Edge: Dusters
DL: Da’Ron Payne, Tyleik Williams (FD) vs YaYa Diaby, Carl Granderson (TP) → Edge: Push
LBs: Mack Wilson (FD) vs Azeez Al-Shaair, Demario Davis, Alex Singleton (TP) → Edge: Process
DBs: Paulson Adebo, Greg Newsome II, Patrick Surtain II (FD) vs Amani Hooker (TP) → Edge: Dusters

The Bottom Line:
The Process brings the fire early, but Chubb’s volume and Schultz’s red-zone reliability keep FD above water.
Prediction: Fanny Dusters 151.5 – 139.3 The Process

Grave Diggers (1–6) vs Double Sluggo (6–1)

Storyline:
This is David vs. Goliath — except Goliath gets yardage bonuses. The Grave Diggers have talent, but Double Sluggo is a buzzsaw, averaging 167.8 points per game. Their WR trio — Jefferson, A.J. Brown, and Pittman Jr. — has combined for 15 touchdowns already. If the Diggers can’t slow them down, this one’s over by Sunday afternoon.

Edge Watch (Starters)
QB: Patrick Mahomes (GD) vs Dak Prescott (DS) → Edge: Diggers
RBs: Derrick Henry (GD) vs J.K. Dobbins (DS) → Edge: Diggers
WRs: Marvin Harrison Jr., DeAndre Hopkins, Mack Hollins (GD) vs A.J. Brown, Justin Jefferson, Michael Pittman Jr. (DS) → Edge: Sluggo
TE: Tyler Warren (GD) vs Mark Andrews (DS) → Edge: Sluggo
DL: Jordan Davis, Harrison Phillips, Tuli Tuipulotu (GD) vs Myles Garrett (DS) → Edge: Push
LBs: Logan Wilson (GD) vs Ernest Jones, Foyesade Oluokun, Pete Werner (DS) → Edge: Sluggo
DBs: Talanoa Hufanga, Derwin James (GD) vs Budda Baker, Kamren Curl (DS) → Edge: Push

The Bottom Line:
Mahomes gives Diggers hope, but DS’s receivers and linebackers deliver another statement win.
Prediction: Double Sluggo 176.8 – 138.6 Grave Diggers

Ozarks (4–3) vs Crazy Con Men (4–3)

Storyline:
This one’s personal. These teams have split their last six meetings, and both sit dead-even at 4–3. Ozarks lean on Barkley’s versatility and Diggs’ sure hands, while the Con Men rely on youth and chaos — led by Maye’s gunslinger tendencies and Chubb’s pass-rush pressure. Expect fireworks.

Edge Watch (Starters)
QB: Carson Wentz (OZ) vs Drake Maye (CCM) → Edge: Ozarks
RBs: Saquon Barkley, James Cook (OZ) vs Chase Brown, Rachaad White (CCM) → Edge: Ozarks
WRs: Davante Adams, Stefon Diggs, Puka Nacua (OZ) vs Josh Downs, Wan’Dale Robinson, Jaxon Smith-Njigba (CCM) → Edge: Ozarks
TE: Brenton Strange (OZ) vs Cade Otton (CCM) → Edge: Con Men
DL: Joey Bosa, Zach Sieler (OZ) vs Derrick Brown (CCM) → Edge: Ozarks
LBs: SirVocea Dennis, Tyrel Dodson, Demetrius Knight Jr. (OZ) vs Nik Bonitto, Bradley Chubb, Jonathon Cooper (CCM) → Edge: Con Men
DBs: Grant Delpit (OZ) vs Quinyon Mitchell, Byron Murphy (CCM) → Edge: Con Men

The Bottom Line:
Ozarks’ veterans execute cleaner, but CCM’s pressure could make it wild.
Prediction: Ozarks 165.7 – 158.9 Crazy Con Men

Guinness (0–7) vs Nea Kameni (6–1)

Storyline:
Guinness is out of rope. Seven straight losses, and now they face a top-tier NM team averaging 174 points per game. Nea Kameni’s Tyreek Hill leads all TBL2 receivers in total yardage, while Engram and Herbert have developed elite-level chemistry. Guinness will need a miracle just to keep pace.

Edge Watch (Starters)
QB: Bryce Young (GUI) vs Justin Herbert (NK) → Edge: Nea Kameni
RBs: David Montgomery, Rhamondre Stevenson, Javonte Williams (GUI) vs Michael Carter, Kyren Williams (NK) → Edge: Push
WRs: Jakobi Meyers, Rashid Shaheed (GUI) vs Keenan Allen, Tyreek Hill, Jerry Jeudy (NK) → Edge: Nea Kameni
TE: Theo Johnson (GUI) vs Evan Engram (NK) → Edge: Nea Kameni
DL: Javon Hargrave, Kayvon Thibodeaux (GUI) vs Danielle Hunter (NK) → Edge: Push
LBs: Nick Bolton, Jamien Sherwood (GUI) vs Jordyn Brooks, Devin Bush, Daiyan Henley (NK) → Edge: Nea Kameni
DBs: Cooper DeJean, Josh Jobe (GUI) vs Jordan Battle, Julian Love (NK) → Edge: Nea Kameni

The Bottom Line:
Guinness battles early, but Hill and Herbert torch the stat sheet again.
Prediction: Nea Kameni 174.3 – 128.4 Guinness

Jager Bombs (4–3) vs Jakku Resistance (5–2)

Storyline:
This is the marquee matchup. The Bombs’ offense has averaged 171.2 points the last two weeks, powered by CMC and Kelce, but Jakku’s defensive depth (Crosby + Warner) neutralizes star-heavy rosters. Both rank top five in points allowed, and both have quarterbacks capable of exploding for 40+. Something’s got to give.

Edge Watch (Starters)
QB: Jared Goff (JB) vs Jalen Hurts (JK) → Edge: Jakku
RBs: Christian McCaffrey, Rico Dowdle (JB) vs RJ Harvey (JK) → Edge: Bombs
WRs: DeVonta Smith, Ladd McConkey, Garrett Wilson (JB) vs Ja’Marr Chase, Jaylen Waddle, Nico Collins, Marvin Mims (JK) → Edge: Jakku
TE: Travis Kelce (JB) vs Dallas Goedert (JK) → Edge: Bombs
DL: Aidan Hutchinson, Will Anderson Jr. (JB) vs Maxx Crosby (JK) → Edge: Bombs
LBs: Bobby Okereke, Devin Lloyd, Carson Schwesinger (JB) vs Fred Warner, Jack Sanborn (JK) → Edge: Jakku
DBs: Kyle Hamilton (JB) vs Nick Cross, Quentin Lake, Andru Phillips (JK) → Edge: Jakku

The Bottom Line:
Hurts’ 70 rushing yards and Crosby’s bonus points carry Jakku past another offensive slugfest.
Prediction: Jakku Resistance 167.6 – 161.2 Jager Bombs

The Architect (5–2) vs KingAj86 (2–5)

Storyline:
The Architect has quietly become one of the most balanced teams in TBL2 — third in offensive yardage, second in defensive takeaways, and top five in IDP efficiency. KingAj86, meanwhile, continues to struggle to find chemistry. A win here for TA could vault them into the conference’s upper echelon heading into the doubleheader stretch.

Edge Watch (Starters)
QB: Jayden Daniels (TA) vs Cooper Rush (AJ) → Edge: Architect
RBs: Devon Achane, Kenneth Walker III, Omarion Hampton (TA) vs Emari Demercado, Ashton Jeanty, Cam Skattebo (AJ) → Edge: Architect
WRs: Amon-Ra St. Brown, Deebo Samuel (TA) vs Adonai Mitchell, Brian Thomas Jr. (AJ) → Edge: Architect
TE: Zach Ertz (TA) vs Jake Ferguson (AJ) → Edge: Push
DL: Calais Campbell (TA) vs Will McDonald IV, Jared Verse, Tavius Robinson (AJ) → Edge: KingAj86
LBs: Terrel Bernard, Teddye Buchanan, Bobby Wagner (TA) vs Baron Browning (AJ) → Edge: Architect
DBs: Jourdan Lewis, Jalen Thompson (TA) vs Josh Metellus, Jaylen Watson (AJ) → Edge: Architect

The Bottom Line:
Daniels’ precision and TA’s elite linebacker unit lead a complete team effort.
Prediction: The Architect 175.9 – 142.8 KingAj86

What’s at Stake

• Double Sluggo (6–1) and Nea Kameni (6–1) are beginning to look like destiny; another win cements both atop their conferences.
  
  
• The Architect (5–2) is the sleeping giant — a Week 5 win keeps them within striking distance of the No. 1 seed.
  
  
• Jakku Resistance (5–2) vs Jager Bombs (4–3) could determine the early tiebreaker for playoff seeding.
  
  
• Rockin’ Squatches (4–3) can reassert championship swagger with a statement win against BPWL.
  
  
• Guinness (0–7) and Grave Diggers (1–6) face potential mathematical elimination if they don’t win this week.